Personality Development Tips

Fears tend to evolve and change over time. A young child might be afraid of the dark, a middle-aged person could be afraid of embarrassing himself during a speech, and a newborn could be afraid of loud noises.

If you’re afraid of falling off a cliff and dying, your fear might be warranted and further evaluation is required. However, if it’s just your ego talking and you know that the fear isn’t in your best interest, that it keeps you in your current situation, then reframe the situation. The fact that you feel the fear, and maybe it makes you physically uncomfortable doesn’t have to control your thoughts or actions. 

When you’re feeling anxious take that as a sign something great might be getting ready to happen. Step outside your comfort zone and take advantage of the opportunity. This is an opportunity. It’s probably scary because it feels important. It’s a good thing, not something to be avoided. Embrace it. 

Make a list of all your fears. You’ll notice a pattern that might be embarrassing. But you can better deal with your fears if you know them and look them in the eye. You may be able to eliminate all of your fears and propel you forward to be the most successful version of yourself that you can be. 

Use fear as an opportunity to practice relaxation techniques. You might hate dinner parties, but they are a great opportunity to work on your conversational skills. When you’re feeling fear you have the chance to practice relaxing, focus on breathing slowly and think positive thoughts. It’s only your perception of the event that creates your fear, and fear is just a feeling. It sometimes does include physical symptoms, but it’s a feeling never the less that can be controlled by your brain.

If your life isn’t in danger, your fears are just a figment of your overactive imagination. And they can be controlled by changing how you think and how you feel. When you can realize this fact, you’ll also realize that all your other feelings follow the same rules. If you can make yourself feel bad you can make yourself feel good too.

Use fear to enhance your discipline. When your brain tries to stop you from doing something that makes you uncomfortable until you run away from the source of your fear, use the opportunity to exercise your ability to push through the anxiety. It will only become easier over time.

Discipline is the ability to do things you don’t feel like doing. You don’t need discipline to do things you enjoy. Does it take discipline to eat the potato chip? No of course not. But you need discipline to face your fears. So begin this practice and begin cultivating your discipline. 

Fear isn’t something to be avoided. Use fear to your advantage. Each day will present you with many opportunities to learn about yourself, your fear, and how to overcome your fears. Grab onto those opportunities and face them head one. It’s a chance to grow on a personal level, and eventually you will completely overcome your fear.

Today we are going to talk about the essential life skill of overcoming shyness.

Have you ever wondered why you felt self-conscious or had that awkward feeling in your stomach when you entered into a room full of strangers? The heart thumping feeling when you wanted to ask someone out on a date, but felt a little shy to do so? Or wanted to approach someone for business purposes and felt a little hesitant to go speak to them about it?

Well whatever the situation may be, you could be an introvert or an extrovert, it does not matter because all of us can relate to the feeling of being shy at some point in our lives. We can all remember that anxious feeling in the pit of our stomachs in social situations. And after today you can start to remove that feeling that something or someone is holding you back when you’re talking to strangers.

Now don’t get me wrong, having a shy style is not a problem. It’s not something wrong that needs to be fixed. It’s important to accept yourself the way you are. And if you like your shy style, there’s no need to get rid of that. What we’re talking about today is my 9 best tips for taking away your anxiety and feeling of shyness so you can feel more relaxed and free to share your true self with others.

Understand the root cause of your shyness

For example when I was little my parents my teachers and my relatives used to label me as shy. They all used to say to each other and to me that I was a very very shy child. This stuck in my mind and psychologically I started believing myself to be a shy person. Well it’s important to understand the root cause because unless you know exactly why you are a shy person, it can make it difficult to overcome that shyness. The first step is to understand the root cause of your shyness.

Accept your shyness

There is no right or wrong way to be shy. And it’s not a bad thing to be shy at all. Most people in the world are shy at some point in their lives or in some situations. Even famous celebrities, politicians or business moguls. That’s why I urge you to accept the way you are. If you are a shy person, it’s absolutely okay. Don’t worry because it’s not rocket science to turn yourself into a more confident and easy going person. Then you can move on and not allow yourself to get labelled as a shy person anymore. This is much more important than it seems at first. If you can’t accept your current shyness, don’t move on to tip number three.

Make a list of all the situations and people you feel shy with

Just to give you a small example, you might feel shy when you have to talk to any girl or any guy, or maybe it’s just a specific girl or guy. You might feel shy when you have to talk to a newcomer in your office, or when you have to talk to your teacher or your boss at work. Whatever the situation, if you feel like you really want to talk to someone but can’t, then add it to your list.

Conquer your mind

Your mind is a faithful servant. Whatever you feed into it, it follows your command. If you feed it fear and worry, that’s what you will get back. So start telling yourself that you are confident and free to calmly talk about anything you want with anybody you meet. You can do this in whatever way is most comfortable to you, some people write it down every day, some say it to themselves in the mirror and some sing it under their breath on their walk to work. Do what comes natural, and your mind will take your lead and slowly begin to believe that you are not a shy person. This is the secret to conquering your mind.

Conquer the list

Now that your mind is working for you instead of against you, let’s get back to your list. Go through each item on your list and imagine what you would like to do in each scenario. Picture yourself calmly and confidently interacting with the people you wrote down, and go through the entire conversation in your head. This is called mental practice, and it’s something the world’s top athletes do to get them ready for high pressure competitions. Practice at least one scenario from your list every day and you’ll begin to internalize what it’s like to interact with people without being limited by your shyness.

Place your attention on others

The moment you start placing your attention on others and trying to understand the needs and wants of other people, you forget your own needs and insecurities. That is a miraculous thing because you can become so involved with the other person you lose awareness of yourself and what’s limiting you. It takes time to master, but if you put this to use in each of your conversations, you will quickly see the difference it can make.

Visualize Success

There is power in visualization. We’ve already seen this with the mental practice exercises. Now I want you to do the same exercise, but without referencing your list of specific scenarios. This time I want you to visualize as many different scenarios as you can. Imagine seeing yourself talk successfully to hundreds and thousands of people at once without feeling self-conscious. Imagine yourself at school, at work, or at a restaurant talking to strangers and feeling totally comfortable and in control.

Do not compare yourself with others

One of the worst things you can do is compare yourself with your colleague or your best friend who is confident in front of people and not shy at all. By comparing yourself with this other person, you’re damaging your own self-image and self-confidence. Never compare yourself with another person because each and every one of us has our own individual personality.

Do not get affected by labels

Don’t get stuck on any labels given to you by other people. If people have ever called you shy or told you that you are shy, it doesn’t mean you are now automatically shy for the rest of your life. If you put your mind to it, you can change anything. And that label was probably not accurate in the first place. They don’t know you completely, they just saw something on the surface and called you shy without thinking any more of it. So don’t worry about other people’s labels. Only you can define who you choose to be.

I hope you follow these steps, and truly take them to heart. Overcoming your shyness is possible and can make such a meaningful difference in your life every day.

Today I want to talk about charisma.

Do you want to be the kind of person that everybody likes? That everybody around you just cannot get enough of? That everybody wants to spend time with, to date, or to hang out with?

I think everybody should answer those questions with a yes. Right? All of us want to feel like we are desirable, whether it’s on a personal, professional, romantic or just a platonic level with our friends, all of us want to be liked. And all of us want to be appreciated, feel like people enjoy being around us, and that we bring a value to being in other people’s lives.

Today I want to break down how you can attain that by leveling up your charisma. Still with me? Let’s get into it.

Now there are three primary components to the trait that I consider charisma:

1. Your ability and willingness to talk about yourself and things that make you feel a little self-conscious,
2. The second quality is your sense of humour. Now, not everybody has to be a comedian. You don’t have to be really funny if it’s not natural for you. You can even just have a dry, or self-deprecating sense of humour. Just something to break the ice and make people feel at ease around you goes a long way towards developing that connection. It makes people feel like “this person is fun and easy going, and a little bit like me. I like them.”
3. And the third one is showing that you care about other people. It’s about going out of your way to ask about how others are doing and what their long-term goals are. Things like what they want to do with their major when they’re done with school, or what they want to do in their career, or how it’s going with their family, or even do they see themselves parenting in the future. Whatever the specific issue that may be on their mind, and going out of your way to ask questions and follow up on it. This also means doing your best to remember not only names and faces, but to remember a little bit about their lives so if you run into them again at work or school you already have that connection. When they see you and see that you’re engaged in their life and remember something about them that made an impact on you, it leaves a lasting positive impression on them.

You can use these skills to draw people to you and make them like you in a way that will allow them to open up to you and also be vulnerable. They’ll feel like developing a friendship or relationship with you is easy.

These three traits are going to take you far in terms of being able to bring people around you to build alliances, friendships, romantic relationships, and even business partnerships. It will make it easier for you to talk to people, and for them to be responsive to you. It makes it easy to talk with people and give them a level of respect. It can even happen completely naturally for you if you just try to put yourself in the other person’s position. It will unconsciously help people feel like you care about them, which triggers their willingness to turn around and care about you in return.

The second way is to reveal your own vulnerability. This one is counterintuitive, but a really good way to break the ice with someone you want to influence is to share vulnerable parts of yourself that are relevant to the conversation. This doesn’t necessarily make you look great, but they other person will be drawn to you when you open yourself up like this and share your insecurities a little bit. It shows your confidence, and pulls at them to connect with you and also reveal their own insecurities.

Moments like this can elicit a little bit of laughter and are often going to make people feel like there’s no judgement on what they say to you because you opened up first. You’ll be surprised that when you hit on a particular topic for someone, they can just open up so much that they are like a waterfall, and their whole story just comes out. That’s how you make a connection that’s deep and emotional. You just open up a little bit, and then empathize with them when they tell you their story. It’s such a potent technique that makes people feel you really care and there’s a certain relationship that can develop, whether it’s platonic and romantic or otherwise.

Don’t forget the humour though. This isn’t supposed to be a deep soul-searching conversation. Humour helps keep it light and fun. Remember though, you don’t necessarily need to be very funny, you just need a light tone. This is more often about good timing, and just using your vulnerability and empathy to connect with people in a way that gets a little bit of laughter to take away all the tension.

Think of an overweight comedian as an example. The good ones find a way to poke fun at themselves, and break the tension. It shows you that they don’t take themselves too seriously, and that they are open to talking about any topic. You don’t even have to be overweight yourself to laugh, you can still find the concept funny and relatable. And it makes them instantly likeable. You can use this same formula to unlock that same sense of familiarity and relatability with other people. It can be as simple as just talking about your own life experiences in a way that shows you have similar struggles to their own.

So to bring this all together, charisma boils down to three primary concepts and using them in different orders, in different ways, and with different people. Those three traits are vulnerability, empathy and a sense of humour. (But a sense of humour that doesn’t cross the line into being cocky.)

So it is vulnerability which allows you to open up a little bit and admit truths about yourself that are similar and relevant to the people that you’re talking to. A sense of empathy that allows you to put yourself in somebody else’s shoes and identify where they’re coming from. And the sense of humour that allows you to connect with the other person, break the ice, and break through any sense of potential judgment that’s coming their way.

How do you put all of these together? Like any other skill, you exercise it over and over and over again in different scenarios, and you will get better over time. Plus you can watch people that seem inherently charismatic, and start to notice exactly how they do it. Look at the people that you like, people in society that you find funny, that you find likeable or relatable, and watch how they do it. See how they put it all together. But also break it down and focus on little bits and pieces of one conversation or interaction to dig deep into what they may be doing that you could try. Apply these things in your own life one person at a time, one work relationship at a time, one romantic relationship at a time. You will start to develop a sense of connection with people that will draw them to you and make you a more likeable person. This will push yourself out of your shell and increase your confidence in a huge way.

These skills are all learnable. They’re portable skills that can be used in every single area and stage of your life. You can be president of the United States, and it’s going to be just as useful as if you’re a school teacher, or a nurse, a business owner, or an executive.

Your new level of charisma and likeability will make people feel comfortable around you and want to connect with you. All of these skills are incredibly useful in every single profession and will make all the difference in the world in each and every interaction throughout your life. So whether you are a student, a rep, a doctor or a clerk, I hope you use these skills for good and put them to full use in your life.

How to overcome shyness while interacting with stranger?
Do you remember that awkward feeling when you walked into a room full of strangers and just felt your heart thumping? Or the time you couldn’t get a word out of your mouth in a social setting just because you were too petrified to speak? Well, you could be one facing the issue of being “too shy”.

Shyness is nothing but being uncomfortable with one’s self especially in social situations. Well, like every other problem, we need to attack “shyness” head-on. It’s time to stop allowing shyness from hindering you toward becoming the whole individual you were meant to be.

There are 3 main facets or components to shyness:

Self-Obsession: It is also called the “me-syndrome” where you are overly aware of yourself in social situations. You obsess about everything you are or you’re not.

Poor self image: Backed by bad or traumatic childhood experiences at home or school, shy people always suffer from a weak self image. They always tend to see themselves in a negative light. This exacerbates the problem of shyness.

Magnifying one’s negatives: Everyone’s got a good mix of positive and negative characteristics. But those who are shy pay too much attention to their negative traits or the things they do wrong. They refuse to look at or conveniently overlook the good qualities they may possess.

Attacking or overcoming shyness:

1) State the problem: A well defined problem is a half solved one. Discern or find out which of these facets of shyness you battle with. You may be struggling with one or all three. Once you’ve identified the root cause of your shyness, you can now make an action plan in the right direction.

2) Find your strengths: Every individual has a certain amount of strengths in spite of some weaknesses. Find out what your strengths are-it could be a talent you possess, a behavioral characteristic or may be a physical attribute. An identifiable strength will boost your confidence and help you identify with yourself. This will help reduce shyness. Moreover, try to use your unique strength to your advantage. For example, if you’re a good listener, you will soon find that you can consult or help people in a social setting with the simple act of listening.

3) Focus Outward: You need to break free from the “Me-syndrome” by putting the limelight off yourself and on the people or the surrounding around you. Become interested in learning about others and find out what they like. Weave your conversations around places, people and things that interest you. Your social interaction can highly improve when you do this. Moreover, you won’t berate yourself because the focus is not on you anymore.

4) Affirmation: Words carry an incredible energy. Whatever we tell ourselves repeatedly, gets heard by our subconscious mind and we act accordingly. Now if you have been feeding your mind with negative thoughts, your actions will portray your thoughts through a negative self-image or a timid personality. Say things to yourself like you’re good, kind and intelligent. Don’t underestimate the power of words.

5) Don’t leave an uncomfortable situation: This is probably the most aggressive ways of dealing with shyness. Placing yourself in an uncomfortable situation will remove your fear or anxiety which accompanies shyness. However implementing this step becomes a lot easier if we have taken care of the above 4 points. If you’re shy of reading in front of a class., once you actually do just that, your fear and shyness will slowly evaporate into thing air. You will realize that if you try, nothing is so bad after all. Shyness is all a state of the mind.

6) Record your success: Keep a journal of how you faced a situation that was potentially awkward or uncomfortable and how you did the right thing to attack your “shyness”. Your journal will soon run out of pages if you stick to your plan. Moreover, it will boost your confidence even more and make you a whole and balanced individual you were meant to be.

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Great video for you below. बोलनी सीखने के लिए रटने की जगह इसका basic सीखा जाए तो यह हमारे दिमाग का एक हिस्सा बन् जाता है और हम इंग्लिश को automatically बोलते हैं ।

Never give in to shyness, be bold. I’ll teach you how. See the ppt below for information:

1. How To Overcome Shyness
2. Don’t let your life pass you by.
3. Think about everything you can have once you overcome shyness.
4. You can’t talk to women if you do not overcome shyness.
5. You can’t talk to guys before you overcome shyness.
6. I’ve been there.
7. I know how you feel.
8. You know what everyone’s shoes look like but not the color of their eyes.
9. High School was a rough time.
10. I was so afraid to just walk down the hall.
11. What if someone talked to me? What was I going to do?
12. It was relieving when the hallway was empty.
13. But in those times when someone says hi, you just keep hoping that they don’t say anything more.
14. But they do, and now you have to talk to them!
15. You fumble through a few sentences and quickly make an excuse why you need to leave!
16. Now for the next little while you keep going over the conversation in your head,
17. thinking about how stupid the other person probably thought you were.
18. You are not alone there are millions of people just like you.
19. But there is no need to let it continue.
20. This is how I felt. Does it sound like you?
21. You have no social life and you are tired of staying home alone all the time
22. keeping busy with pointless hobbies,
23. asking yourself “Why doesn’t anyone ever invite me out?”
24. You have very few friends, and none that you see outside of school or work.
25. You wonder how DO people actually make friends?
26. You are always anxious, nervous and tense in social situations.
27. It’s scary to even walk past someone and say “hello”
28. You have no idea how to keep a conversation going with someone you don’t know well
29. your mind always goes blank or you run out of things to say
30. You are always the quiet, shy one in any group.
31. The one who never said a word and just stood there
32. You are very self-conscious and insecure about how you looked.
33. You just don’t feel good about yourself
34. You can live the life you’ve always wanted by overcoming shyness.
35. Think about the job you’ve always wanted.
36. Once you learn how to overcome shyness, the sky is the limit!
37. Don’t let your life slip by! Overcome your shyness now!
38. Go after what you want in life, don’t let your shyness hold you back any longer!
39. Break free by overcoming shyness! Click Here To Find Out More Information

Do you know these important things in English? Watch the video below to find out:

You won’t believe what this strange man from India thinks about developing you personality…

Let me know what your favorite part of the video was in the comments below!

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Take this powerpoint (ppt) to heart. They can change your life if you really dig in and put them to good use in your life:

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